The Power of Learning from DAD

Lesson 16 – Impression – Part 1

In this lesson we will be discussing both the impression that we have of ourselves, our self-image, and the impression we give to others. Let us begin with how to improve the impression we give to others.

People always seem to want more, and while we have been generally taught that this desire is an instance of greed, it is often the desire for growth. The desire for growth is the deepest instinct of nature, as nature itself is always expanding, growing, and seeing fuller expression. Being that the desire for more is a deep-rooted instinct of all people, people are attracted to those individuals who can give them more. In association with these people, they may have a fuller expression of more the impulse of nature for growth and abundance.

Considering this impulse of nature for growth, which we share, the surest way to improve the impression that you give to others is to convey assurances of increase to everyone that you meet. In other words, in your interaction with others be sure the discover ways in which you can help them to advance. Make sure in your interaction with others that they feel that they have gained more from interacting with you than they had previously. In doing so you are conveying the impression of increase to everyone that you meet. You convey the impression to others that you are an advancing personality. This is one of the surest ways to secure a favourable view of you in the minds of others. Thus, the main way to improve our relations with others is to convey the impression of increase: that is to say, to convey the impression that you advance all who interact with you.

Other tools for increasing the impression that others have of us that are mentioned in this video include:

• Remain humble in your success: Nothing scuppers your relationship with others as much as boastful pride. When you render humble service and are successful you will not need to boast about your achievements because others will feel it, through your talk, your walk, your tone of voice, your stature etc.
• Do not use power to exert dominance over others: Nothing is so appealing to the uninformed as the exercise of dominance by others. Compare Gandhi’s approach to resistance to that of violent protest involving dictators of the past.
• Be service orientated: The desire to rule for selfish gratification has been the curse of the world. When leaders are not looking to take on power to expand life for others, i.e., when they are not service orientated, the consequences are dire.
• Be creative not competitive: The competitive mind only conceptualises the binary win-lose mentality, whereas within the creative mind, there is the possibility of win-win. This creative mind does not seek competition of dominance over others. Indeed, for success the golden rule is: “What I want for myself, I want for others”

Lesson 16 – Impression – Part 2

In the previous lesson we talked about the impression of increase. We said that it creates a favourable impression of you in the minds of others and draws others to you like a magnet because it speaks to the satisfaction of a desire that we all have, that is the desire for growth. Here we take a deeper dive into the impression of increase.

The impression of increase is not just about helping people to achieve their goals or offering products or services that exceed expectations, it is also importantly about making people in your presence feel important or special. Indeed, one of the simplest ways to convey the impression of increase is to provide sincere and merited praise.

While the impression of increase is fantastic for improving your relations with others, it also offers to you remarkable opportunities for success. Teachers who give the impression of increase to their students, for example, will never be out of a job. They constantly attract success because when you operate by this rule, your aim is to give rather than to trade. What is the difference?

In the context of interpersonal relationships, there is a huge difference between giving and trading. Giving is providing a service for the benefit of others. Trading is providing a service with the expectation that you will get something in return. In trading we are leading with the reward we are likely to get, in giving we are leading with what rewards we can give. In other words, in giving your focus is on supporting others for their own benefit, and nature has a strange way of rewarding this kind of service.

Let’s look at a common example of how nature rewards this kind of service: office promotion. Imagine you are doing a job perfectly well. You are not conveying to your boss the impression of increase: that idea or feeling that you could do more for him or the company then you are currently being paid for. As you are a great worker and are not conveying the impression of increase, your boss – the person who has charge of your promotions – considers you a good worker who is filling their place. You are therefore valuable to them where you are, it is not in the organisations interest to promote you. Now imagine a different scenario. Imagine that in your role, you do more than you are paid for, you are extremely helpful, you provide support to those who need it without being asked, you take initiative, your produce reports and analysis that goes for beyond what is expected. In short, you convey the impression of increase, you convey the impression to helping those around you that you can help them to grow. In that case you are sure to be promoted because, by presenting yourself as an advancing personality, you are tapping into the natural desire that your boss will have for the business to grow.

If you are conveying the impression of increase and supposing there is no possibility for advancement in your present job or advancing in your job does not align with long-term goals, you will very soon see an opportunity to make an exit. It is vital to give your best, and if you are growing at a faster pace than can be accommodated by your job, a better opportunity will come. There is a power that presents opportunities to these kinds of advancing personalities. Indeed, nature cannot help but help you if you act in a particular way.